today is 13-05 days are passing so quickly and idk what should i do, i mean im unable to have clarity into how to get into what i love doing and make money from there
it is very hard to go on our own path and trying to figure it out the way out to make hell lot of money but yet doing what u love
this is ripping me apart idk why i have this conditioning that i need to do what i love ,this concept of passion in something
and also there is this image inside my mind looking at the people online who are doing videos and making their lives out of it and it feels very good and best life for me so i want that life for me too
this above para is the exact thinking which is driving me and making me sad and burden
and also i m runnign out of time, my mind always thinks im wasting time im not doing enough or even if i do some shit then it says u r working like a gadha not working smart enough
what the hell im supposed to do, i dont even know to whom I am asking this ? or to whom should i ask this ? with whom should i share all of this
i m f**king not even this much close with either of the parents to share this, and not with any friend tooo
and on top of that me freaking chose to live in a single room in the name of making videos and shooting
that guilt also there ki every single day when i open the door and enter the room i feel guilty that this room where i m investing or having also im not utilising properly
and to add to these there are people online at my age even less,doing the same thing which i wanna achieve or do
and all of this together crushing me
and also this comparision automatically happens on the social media,the number when i try to analyse
the number of followers i have is fucking less than the followers my friends has without having a single post on their page. I dont know why it hurts so much and also i say i dont care about the followers whcih is actually i say, but along with still it feels bad. I dont knwo what is this mind why it is like this
constantly talking in my head , how on earth people done so many things in their life i really dont know
i really dont know what is the best possible thing i should be doing, having my life and my own unique scenario and unfair advantages, i dont even know those
see how much this mind analyses and thinks. May be labelling these as negative or whatever still these many things constantly going in head one after the other not letting me focus on the actual thing whatever i m trying to do
and also idk what actual thign i should be doing
i get some motivation after watching a reel and i feel like it is next to impossible to recreate and this requires hell lot of patience and carefool copying and with the motivation i recreate and feel cool and when i upload the response is very less compared to people who are not putting this much effort on video and doing whateve right thing theyr r doing so that they r having that reach, and me not getting that.
so now the question I want to ask to myself is, at least I am thinking about me and my future life.But then another voice coming what is the use of this thinking when nothing is working.
so what now ?
dont worry about me if anyone by chance reading this
i just dare to write down all here and im very chill after writing down
but still idk how to live this life and why on earth this life for a human made and controlled or coordinated by another human is not well
idk what i want to tell
I’ll list down what r the things i have ,
I can edit videos any type of editing u ask me idk all of the editing forms but it wont take me much time to learn and adapt for anys tyle of editing because i have my proof of orevious work touching different kind of edits from fonk edits, short film, youtube video, magic trick videos, simple vidoes, high fast phased editing.
next,
Im an tech guy before a strong editor. I went into the tech the frontend, backend, databases just scrathed surface of these and then went deep into AI agents, exploring new emerging libraries to build ai agents, different ways of integrating them.Excited about how easy it makes our lives and always trying out new stuffs as soon as they release. I can confidently say I can automate any freaking stuff u name it with the assistance of AI, from changing the keyboard key stroke from Enter button to SHIFT.To integrating AI into a smart automated greenhouse automation robo built as a prototype, to automating content generation and uplaod to instagram. I explored so many ways of automating the stuff. I even have a bath scripts on my desktop for quickly downloading youtube videos/audios i want for my edit from the link, and conversion from pdf to image and all other small stuffs liek this
from blood im a designer who knows how to use photoshop from age of 15.Started as a passport photo cutting helping my father out to creating movie posters and thumbnails and creating any creative magic u want on a canvas which is 100xed with assistance of AI, how much carefull time i put that much beautifull my craft gets
from this creating videos for my account and also unfiltered, and consumption of so much curated high quality content, I have this mind of extracting content from anywhere, the real valuable and very touching content idea.But only thing is i dont have a consistent proven things like views or popularity to show
but i can say i gave 20+ monthly views it shows on instagram page
if i give my cummulative count on that including the relatable short reels i make with friends, my main editing and bit cinematic account, one more passionate brothers account made for our short films
20k+1.4lakh+5k+5k
this much reach im getting
but very less followers like 300 on the 20k+ reach in last month theakashainapur page
around 100 on 1.4lakh reach akash_unfiltered
passionatebrothers 5k+ 20 followers
idkitsakash 5k+, 20 followers
just reach not followers heavy
ok now it is balanced negatives and some positives
if u read till here, thankyou idk why you read it but its ok thankyou very much, now you know akash a bit more